The Sister's Last Phonecall...Just Getting Some Grief Out...

Dedicated to my Sister, Cindy Morrianna Hucul Peterson
June 23, 1961 to August 26, 2009

On Wednesday, August 26, 2009 my sister, Cindy, left me a message on my answering machine. It said, “Hey Sherry, it’s me Cindy. Just calling to see how your appointment went yesterday. Give me a call back. I love you. Bye.” I had it saved for 5 months before erasing it by mistake a few days ago.

My second oldest sister, Cindy, was an R.N. who worked in the Baby Unit at a Women’s Centre – Hospital in Utah, U.S.A. She was planning on coming home to Ontario, Canada to visit family and friends and be there for the birth of my 4th baby (Alec is 14, Maggie-Mae is 12 and George is 10). I was around 34 weeks’ pregnant and high risk. It had been 10 years since my last baby was born and this pregnancy was an early 40’s surprise. Our oldest sister, Shelley, was planning a trip from B.C. to Ottawa at the same time. She would stay with our other sister, Melissa, who is between Cindy and I in age. Cindy was determined to reunite Melissa and I during her visit as we had our differences after our Mother died and weren't on speaking terms. Cindy wanted to have photos taken of ‘Us 4 Girls’. She said that life was too short and she wanted us four to get together.



The last time Cindy and I had seen each other was the beginning of August, 2000 for our Mother’s funeral – she died of ALS at the age of 60. Our Father died in February, 1983, at the age of 49 from a heart attack, when I was 15 years of age.

Cindy was very supportive of me during my pregnancy, encouraged me to be positive and keep the pregnancy. She advised, “You won’t be able to live with yourself if you terminate… I know you.” and “There is a reason for this baby, Sherry. God only gives you what you can handle. It’s going to be a girl and she will be a blessing and well loved and she will be - Stylin’!” She and her daughter, Ariane, had started to collect gorgeous baby clothes, blankets, sleepers, onesies, etc. and posted pictures on Face book of the baby things - to get me excited about my unplanned baby. Cindy was really looking forward to being there for the birth of her new niece at the end of September. We talked on the phone at least once a week – sometimes into the wee hours of the morning – her sleeping pill would kick in and she’d doze off on the phone occasionally, with me just babbling on.

I thought Cindy sounded a little sad, that day, on the message and I returned her call at around 8:15 p.m. with a reminder from my son, George. I was busy around the house and almost had forgotten to call her back. Cindy had called to tell me that she was booking her flights a week ahead of schedule in case I would be induced a little earlier than planned. She didn’t want to miss the birth of the baby girl (I had an amniocentesis – she was right that I was having a girl).

Cindy had left work early not feeling well and was tired. She was in her bedroom, lying on the bed with her lap-top and on-line. Our conversation was lengthy and lively with sisterly laughs, confiding feelings and just getting it all out. It was the most profound talk that we ever had. She was going through some personal, emotional issues and really needed to open up and talk.

Cindy had plans to go camping that coming weekend with her husband, Kallen, and 12 year old daughter, Linsey, and they wanted her to go grocery shopping with them. Cindy said, “I don’t want to go - I’m tired. I am talking on the phone - long distance - to my sister, Sherry. I just want to talk to Sherry.” They were asking her to make up a grocery list, so Cindy and I brainstormed one so they would get out of her hair and we could talk. She was reminding Kallen to mail off the box of clothes so I could get them before the baby came. We were joking around about the grocery list and I was giving her ideas - cookies for him and cottage cheese and yogurt for her.

Cindy battled being overweight for many years and underwent a lap band surgery near the end of July, 2009 and had lost 40 lbs within a month. Her self image was improving; she was determined, getting happier; and she knew that if she didn’t lose the weight she wouldn’t be able to get a much needed knee surgery. She said she wanted to be healthy and be around for her family – she had three sweet, lovely granddaughters under 2 1/2 years of age; Remi, Cheyane and Hailee - just 4 months old then.

Cindy was coming to terms with her past and was reading me a letter that she had written for a couple of her internet friends. Cindy was bullied as a teenager and had a very tumultuous relationship with our Mother and was abused growing up. She ran away from home at around 17 years of age and lived some wild times in the city before being saved by the LDS (Mormon) Church. She moved to Utah to attend College where she met her future husband, got married, became a nurse and raised her 3 children.

Partway through reading the letter off her laptop, she said to me, “I feel like I’m going to faint. I’m fainting.” I asked her, “Is it your blood sugar?” She said, “I think it might be, I don’t know.” I said, “Do you have any sugar, cookies nearby?” No answer. She took several deep breaths and then she sounded like she was sleeping. I called her name “Cindy, Cindy, hello, wake-up, hello – are you there? Wake up. Helllloooo? C’mon Cindy…wake up. What’s going on? Can you hear me? Youuu Hoooo.” I started to whistle through the phone. I said, “I don’t know what to do. Don’t do this to me. Cindy, I’m going to call Shelley and see if she can get someone to come and check on you.”

I kept Cindy on my land-line and called our older sister, Shelley, in B.C. from my cell phone. Shelley just happened to be coming in the house and she heard the phone and felt an instinct to get to it. Normally she would have let the answering machine take a message. I told Shelley that I had Cindy on the other line and that she had fainted on the phone and that someone needs to check on her. I gave her Cindy’s address so she wouldn’t have to waste time looking for it. Shelley called Cindy’s two older children, Joshua and Ariane’s cell numbers but could only leave messages. Shelley’s daughter, Angela, had the foresight to call her father who lives in Logan (30 miles from where Cindy lived) and he called 911 and the paramedics were on their way. The five minutes in between calls to my sister in B.C. seemed like a lifetime. The police called Shelley to ask what medications Cindy was taking, but she wasn’t sure.

I could still hear Cindy breathing softly and some rustling around and I heard her cell phone ringing in the background. I called out to her, “Cindy, your cell-phone is ringing…can you hear that? Wake-up. c’mon, wake-up.” I had continued to talk and yell and whistle through the phone to her in attempts of waking her up. The line became silent when I was talking to Cindy and while Shelley was on my cell phone. I said to Shelley, “She’s not breathing anymore. I can’t hear her breathing.” I could not believe what was going on. I said, “What do I do?” We decided that I should keep the line open in case someone was trying to get through. So I did. Everything happened so fast. Shelley and I hung up to wait for news. We felt helpless.

I was panicking inside and in shock. I walked out back to my hen house and looked up at the stars and prayed to God. I begged for her, “Please let her be okay. Please don’t let anything happen to my sister.” I choked back tears, swallowed hard and went back inside the house to wait for what seemed an eternity.

Cindy’s brother-in-law happened to be driving by her house while all the emergency crew were there and he called her husband on his cell-phone to tell him that something was going on at their house; ambulances, police and fire trucks were there. Kallen sped home and the police let him into the house. My niece, Linsey, wasn’t allowed in despite her pleas of “My Mom is in there, I want to see my Mom, that’s my Mom!” She heard a police man say “She’s not going to make it; she’s not going to make it.”

A couple of hours went by and Shelley called to tell me, “She’s gone.” Just like that. My sister died while on the phone with me connected to our other sister through the cell-phone; like a triangle. I discovered later that the paramedics found her lying on the bed with her arm over the lap-top and she wasn’t breathing when they got there. They pulled her to the floor and worked on her there, in the ambulance, and at the hospital for about 40 minutes, but to no avail. Cindy died on our father’s birthday. The autopsy results determined heart failure.

Cindy’s funeral was held on September 3, 2009. Shelley and I wrote tributes to be read and there was an audio CD made of the service. Cindy’s eldest daughter, Ariane, sent it along with photos, obituary notices, etc. in the huge box of the cherished baby things that she and her Mom had collected. Cindy had rolled up everything really tight in order to fit it all in the box which was so like her to do. I was overwhelmed by their generosity when I unpacked everything; smiling and crying at the same time.

In her honor, Melissa and I met each other for coffee the day of the funeral, in Ottawa. Our relationship as sisters has since rooted and blossomed into something much different than what it used to be. Cindy would be very happy that her wishes came true.

Scarlette Rose Cindalena (8 lbs, 9 oz) was born on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 4:10 a.m. She came into this world in silence after the shock of a fast birth. I thought something was terribly wrong when she wasn’t crying and as I cut her umbilical cord I started praying inside. The Nurses and Pediatric Doctor worked quickly on my new baby girl; suctioning, massaging, checking and rechecking her vitals, listening for the faint heartbeat. She started to pink up after about 15 minutes of this. While I pushed out the placenta and got stitched up I was encouraging my baby “C’mon Scarlette, c’mon!” Then she was bundled up and in my arms. She didn’t cry for over an hour, but has made up for it since and then some. I like to think that Nurse Cindy was right there with the others, helping her along into this world as her Guardian Angel. Scarlette is indeed a much loved, beautiful baby girl and she is certainly ‘Stylin’!