You know when you are young and sometimes people ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up"? I didn't have an answer then, but I may now. I'm thinking a nun living a pure and simple life in a convent would have been a little more conducive to my good mental health.
Instead of my true calling, I decided to take the high road of life and pay the consequences. Some of which are pure delight and others - more like a pounding migraine that just won't go away. I am living on a prayer most days and keep telling myself, "It's gonna get better, tomorrow is a new day" as I swallow my Zoloft down with relish. Oh, the stigma of it all! Most people won't admit when there is a problem, refuse to ask for help and continue to live in their lil' world of denial. Been there, done that.
Circumstances can make or break a person and you can snuff it all inside and suffer in your own self-made virus; or you can liberate yourself and sneeze it out like a great, quivering, earth shattering 'O'. Preferring the latter myself, it is no wonder that I would never be accepted into the Holy House as one of Her devout chosen few.
My Unholy House contains a backlog of bills piled up on my dresser and a phone display of recurrent 1-800 numbers that won't leave a message (since I'm ignoring the phone these days). There is a crazy 3 month old brindle boxer pup named 'Moxie' ripping around; a 14 yr. old Anaphylactic to Dairy, ADD - X- Box Addict teenage son - Alec - who continually makes me smile with his wit and intelligence that far exceeds my expectations; a 12 yr. old sensitive, pre-teen, smart, strong-willed, beautiful daughter - Maggie-Mae Dalena - who is amazing and a great help around the house, a 10 yr. old ADHD, ODD, anxiety ridden son with red-hair - George - who loves my cooking too much, swears uncontrollably (can we spell t-i-m-e-o-u-t?) and he is the most forgivable, loving boy with a generous heart that you could imagine; and last but not least, there is a 3 1/2 month old sweet baby girl - Scarlette - who has taken me by storm and filled my heart with love for her. She is my 42 year old surprise, I say. Sometimes in life it is the unexpected happenings that unknowingly create the most happiness. Oh, I almost forgot to mention Frankie the rooster and his harem of eight ladies in the hen house out back. Cock-a-doodle-doo for now! More to come from the sucker of punishment, T.
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